The Republic of Holy Symon Log Kaltoftic is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.881 billion Holy Symon Log Kaltofticians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Spirituality, although Law & Order, Healthcare, and Defense are also considered important. The average income tax rate is 53.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Holy Symon Log Kaltoftician economy, worth 178 trillion rupees a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Automobile Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 25,984 rupees, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Symon Log Kaltoftic's national animal is the falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Holy Symon Log Kaltoftic is ranked 60,377^th in the world and 1,490^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Corrupt Governments, with 30.34 kickbacks per hour.